Teen Trouble What Can We Do ?
- cleanerdayzrhere
- Feb 26, 2023
- 4 min read
I'm not sure if it's just my area or if it's something that is on the rise. But teenagers everywhere seem to be pushing the boundaries like never before. My teen is on that not so fun train as well and we as parents are trying to navigate a tough journey. My child has ADHD (attention deficit disorder) with anxiety. I believe possibly BPD (borderline personality disorder) is also a not yet diagnosed condition. With that said we homeschooled during covid after seeing that our child was struggling in subjects especially reading and math and watching the live zoom classrooms where our child was even more lost with no help in sight. We looked into private schools and there were no openings that year that's when this mama leapt into action. I started researching homeschool laws in PA, I took some classes online from the local library on homeschooling as well as online forums. I got all the proper documentation some learning materials and started teaching. I never in my life imagined I would be a homeschool mom. I had before thought that was really not for me but what I learnt was I loved it! I loved having freedom in our schedules waking when we desired learning at our own pace and enjoying life. Fast forward to 2023 a little over 2 years later my child started acting out puberty had hit, and the ADHD was more prevalent than ever before our lives were nowhere near happy, everyday a fight little to no progress was happening and I felt like I was losing control. We had started seeing the therapist weekly again that hadn't made much of a difference defiance had reared its pretty head and I began to not like this teenage child (I loved so very much). Our child had made it clear that public school; was their desire, we were desperate to find some peace and decided the battle to homeschool was one we would walk away from. We set ground rules about attending public school expectations were discussed and agreed upon by both parties. That was in November its now February we have seen our child start stealing only at home from us and siblings as far as we know thus far, lying a lot, making poor judgements on social media, and increasingly become more interested in sexual behavior. We have cameras in our home to monitor the halls and main living areas we had to install more; we now have code locked door handles on our bedrooms. Our child has lost the cell phone. Is now given seven outfits weekly picked out by this mama (the room was a mess and the agreement our child created with therapist after 3 weeks was still not being followed this was the next step). We recently again after punishment dealt with stealing and lying and discovered that our child had given personal information to an online person, they don't know via snapchat at that point all social media accounts were made to be deleted. I said all of that to say this if you are going through anything similar, you're not alone. We are doing all of this in trial and error. Because as a parent we are not given a book or guide, but we are given love that's what fuels our decisions. This is our youngest child of seven we haven't ever dealt with anything like this before. We ordered an old school flip phone for contact with us only. Many actions, therapist and doctors are involved. I only wander if any of this will help, and I pray it does. I know doing nothing is not the answer but it's rough being the" bad guy" 24/7 even knowing it's for our child's best interest. We may end up doing cyber school in our district if behaviors do not change. I know other parents dealing with numerous types of teen issues, I find myself wondering if we will see that the covid pandemic and trauma they endured is some of the cause or if it's the world we live in currently where morals seem blurred, many feel there aren't consequences and as children with young impressionable growing minds how much is too much? Our child attends church youth group 2 to 3 nights a week and church on Sundays. Plays sports such as cheerleading, track, participates in church camps throughout summer and always has done so. Our child is the baby of the family was given more than the older ones there is huge age difference and we have more to give they have traveled often had expensive clothes, purses and shoes and until recently rarely heard the word "NO" so that has all changed now too." No" is all our child is hearing until respect is given, lies aren't told, and stealing doesn't occur! We will keep doing the parenting even on the rough days because we know it's the best, we can give to our child the opportunity to learn from past mistakes make better choices. Ill remind you if you're dealing with these or other issues stay focused and repetitive make the outcomes known for what behavior occurs be clear and follow through. And take care of yourself in the process vent to your friends, read books on parenting and self-help books, journal, take long baths have that glass of wine if you wish mediate and or attend your spiritual guides (church or whatever you choose). Try and plan some fun family outings with increased family time occurring and know that research shows with follow through, boundaries and set consequences change should occur. We must do what we can to help our children overcome this season of their lives. May you find peace today friend in the knowing you aren't alone.
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